Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Keep Talking

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

John Mayer has obviously never been in that position himself. Or it’s always worked out well for him. Lucky guy. For people like me, the above simply translates to constantly saying things and verbalizing feelings and emotions about anything and everything. So we just appear like talking heads after a while. It doesn’t matter what we are really trying to say, the core of it. It becomes cheap talk instead of a conversation. We just say stuff all the time anyway. And the words just bounce against empty walls and become noise after a while…cling and clatter.

Too many voices
It won't take long
Which one's right
Which one's wrong 
Yours is most likely to be misunderstood

Contrary to how it appears, it takes courage to put yourself in that spot where you will be seen as someone who wears his heart on the sleeve. And there is a risk of appearing the fool yet, sometimes it is the only way. What other defence do you have against transience? Of moments, of lives? And I have learnt that the hard way. By losing people. 

At 20 years of age, I gathered all my courage and told my ailing father how much I loved him, in a letter…because he had gone deaf due to side effects of medicines. I said it in plain, simple and straight words. It wasn’t common in our family and love was shown more through care. It was implied and assumed. Nobody ever said it to anybody else. But I am glad I did it anyway. He started replying but was hospitalized the next day. And then he passed away. Now all I have is his unfinished letter and the contentment that at least he knew.

When equations between my best friend and me changed after her marriage, we lost all communication for a while and I missed her sorely. But it was clear we would never go back to where we were and so I told her how much she had meant to me when we were together. And that’s what brought us back together; she had assumed that it made no difference to me whether she was around or not. I am glad I had the courage to ask for closure and say what I needed to say, for that admission is what brought us back together.

I don’t think there is anything worse than being ordinary”, that’s what Angela said in American Beauty. For me, there is nothing worse than being replaceable. For your uniqueness to be lost on others and your individuality reduced to a role that can be played by someone else. And essential to making someone feel irreplaceable is to let them know how special they are, and what they bring to someone’s life.

The question to ask is, how much do people value knowing that they mean something? In a world filled with hate, does one person’s love make any difference? And if it doesn’t, there is no need for words, to say what one needs to say. And John Mayer can write that down.

But if it does make a difference, then maybe it is worth every bit of putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. Maybe for some of us, the only way to become irreplaceable is to tell others how special they are and then trust we make a difference, whether or not we hear it back. Maybe there is nothing else that makes us special.

And hence it must be said when it must be said. Whatever the consequence. Whether or not it comes back. Words, after all, are arrows and not boomerangs. The only thing we can decide is when to send them forth, not when they will return.

And so, Pink Floyd and Stephen Hawking…keep talking.

For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. 
Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination. 
We learned to talk 
and we learned to listen...

0 Thinkers Pondered: