Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Juice

It’s a bittersweet symphony in my head right now. For the first time in many many days the cheer is gone. I am not exactly low but I am not bubbly, chirpy or hyper either. I could say it’s the stiff neck and move ahead but I know it’s not that. I’d be fooling myself.

And so, to get over this feeling, to feel happy again (because it is only if I feel happy and feel good that life works out well for me), to get back on track I have decided to write about happiness and why I am addicted to it this way. I am hoping it works and life continues to work for me the way it has been.

It is very easy to make me happy. Play my favourite song (or even just a really nice song), show me a fresh flower, colour the sky a bright sunny blue, or send a butterfly my way on a grey day…it will assuredly bring a smile to my face. And I will linger in that moment, to that thought, for hours together and keep smiling. It’s as if only being sad warrants a strong reason else most times I am happy…perpetually and naturally.

Add a lovely conversation to that list, maybe a nice visit to the bookstore, some art, good time spent with friends, some serendipity and you would have quite a handful of my giddy cheer to handle. And I think you would also be giving me a high dose of a few days or even weeks of happiness. I wouldn’t be able to get over that kind of combination soon. So don’t be surprised if you see me walk by grinning on any regular day…I am probably thinking of and processing that wonderful weekend conversation way back then.

It’s like I can’t let go of happy moments. It’s like I cling to them as if my life depends on it (come to think of it…it does!). It’s like I can’t get over being happy and the reasons for that happiness.

It’s like if I get hold of sugarcane, I will extract the last bit of sweet juice from it and relish the flavour for a long time to come…preserve the molasses…maybe even make alcohol out of it and get high on happiness…till the very last bit.

Why? It helps me get by in life. Easily. As simple as that.

I have had my fair share of loss, sorrow, hurt and pain in life and it’s not like I can’t deal with any of that. My prozac is happiness itself and it helps deal with the madness called life. The ups and downs. The lost-and-founds. Reasoning helps too. It keeps the hope alive.

So as I try to get over how I am feeling (crappy in short) and try and smile, I am going to drink some of the juice…reminisce about all the good things the past few weeks have brought my way. I’ll hold on I think. I hope it helps.

The song which has to necessarily be playing right now is the one I have been addicted to ever since I discovered it about ten days ago...it's been playing on repeat since then (needless to mention)...the tune is catchy but nothing new...it's the words...It makes a million things run through my head and butterflies flutter in my stomach...Love this one…'Fallin' For You' by Colbie Caillat.

Fallin' for You by Colbie Caillat on Grooveshark

10 Thinkers Pondered:

Anonymous said...

The post is beautiful! Not sure if you meant it to be that way but it's kind of inspiring :)

Sincerely hope the cheer comes back soon..maybe even before you come and read this comment :)

Smita

Satish said...

When there is rain and sunshine, that is when we see rainbows...... Life has its ups and downs... that is when rainbow in life appears.......

SAY CHEERS TO LIFE(borrowed only the slogan :-) )

Vibhushan said...

Watch "andaz apna apna"... or for that matter Padosan (today is Kishore Kumar's bday)... Lakh marzo ki ek dawa hai :)

eye-in-sty-in said...

ur post is so complete, I dont know what to comment...

Smita said...

You know what I liked about the post the most??

The inherent optimism. We all go thru phases in life when we feel down n out. In such times we usually think negatives but if we start drifting towards what can lift our spirits half our battle is won :)

Hope u r feeling better now and are all cheered up :)

Anupama said...

Hey Smita,

Thanks for the kind words and for finding my post inspiring :) ...you won't believe this but some of the cheer was back even as I read your comment and later...it's around, I'm trying to grow warm to it...thanks for the comment and tc :)

Hey Satish!

Loved that thought about rainbows...I might plagiarize in the future :) ...and the perspective really helped...thanks for the comment :)

Hey Vibhushan,

I don't know if the distraction of a comedy will help when the topmost thought in your head is so overbearing...thanks for the suggestion and comment though :)

Hey Spike!

That makes me feel nice...and it helps...thank you so much :)

Hey Smita!

I agree with you on trying to keep moving towards things that keep us happy and cheerful...I am slightly better now, thanks a lot sweets :)

Vibhushan said...

As you say in post, you are generally happy. This sad thought is actually the distraction, and not the classic Padosan. Hope you are back to your ways soon :)

KCL said...

Liked 'molasses to alcohol' . Writing, a song and your word at present 'serendipity' does make this a write up. How often does determination manifest? Guess it did by rendering you happy with the write up showing determination. Awesome!

Priya Iyer said...

hey, gal!hope u are feeling better now.

u know what? i felt like i was reading about myself. :) i, like you, hold on to happy moments. a kind word, a hug, or just a nice song playing on radio or a beautiful sunset can keep me smiling for hours on end. friends say it's easy to keep me happy. pretty low maintenance! :P nice to know this side of you..

Anupama said...

KC!!!

Thanks a whole lot :)

Hey Priya!

I love that phrase you used - low maintenance...that's exactly how I am and it is sweet to know we relate to each other there too :) ...thank you so much for the comment :)