Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Road Rage

It’s about time I left office. And yet I sit here dreading the thought of getting onto that road. I am feeling good right now, cheerful and it has been a good day. I hate the possibility of having it all spoiled by an hour of riding back home. And it is because I have bad memories lingering from yesterday…

I was riding back home from work yesterday and it was one of the worst rides I’ve had in quite some time now. In fact I don’t remember being so angry while riding in a very very long time. I am usually docile on the road; I give the others the benefit of doubt and ignorance. I laugh it all off…unless of course it causes an accident and an injured ligament in which case I call them a jerk and leave it at that.

But yesterday I was angry. To add to that Radio Indigo decided not to be too generous…even the song requests were pathetic (Give Me Hope Joanna?? In the middle of Outer Ring Road at 7:30 PM? Yeah you better give me hope Joanna). It was this guy driving a Skoda Laura…

Three possibilities:
  1. He had had a new horn installed in his car and was testing it.
  2. He thought his sedan was straight out of Transformers and could actually transform into something that would fit into 2 feet of space if only I gave him that space!
  3. He was a moron in a hurry who thought with that kind of car and neon headlights, the traffic should have parted the way the seas parted at Moses’ behest.

I am going with 3, I don’t know what you guys think. I mean this guy just wouldn’t stop honking…in peak hour traffic…at a two wheeler taking up space equivalent to his passenger seat’s width! And yet, in my rear view mirror I could see him wave his hand and gesticulate wildly that I move to the left (when I was in fact behind a truck…for a moment I though he was on a suicide mission and wanted to ram into the truck…when he didn’t, I arrived at the Transformers idea).

Ok maybe he was in a hurry and needed to get somewhere urgently. Well. Too bad! He chose the wrong time to be in a hurry. He should buy himself an ambulance and hope that he gets way the next time…because we Indians are not very sure of leaving way for even that kind of a vehicle, where did you come from? Or maybe he should just buy himself a helicopter or a charter an airplane and end the story for everybody. Nobody needs to listen to his tantrums (in this case his car’s) at the end of a day at work. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry though the way he had the time to drive level with the person he had overtaken and stare like it was his road and we were all trespassing.

If he pays more road tax and thinks that by virtue of that fact he owns the road, I have got to say, “You’ve got it wrong smart Alec!” In my book you pay more because you occupy more space and cause the very jam you are stuck in, it doesn’t entitle you to occupy that space.

Anyway, he did manage to overtake me and then started to honk at the other cars and was on his way…after agitating me sufficiently though.

And then there was this wise guy with his Indicab who started honking at me at the signal. I hate those vehicles, the agencies which offer them as taxis and the people who drive them so much that I could vomit right now…its mostly the people who drive them actually…guys who should have had the Tractor’s wheel in their hands get an Indicab and decide to go berserk with it…I am all for globalization, empowerment and all the nouns that are all the management and political jargon these days but somehow all of that always comes with a fall from grace…ok topic for another day…meanwhile, agencies, please polish your drivers a little and teach them some rules of the road. Your driver CANNOT drive at 30 KMPH in the rightmost lane after having honked at 3 vehicles and gotten his way. And if he has mouthed a few words in the local slang while overtaking me or any of the aforementioned vehicles, I am so not taking a taxi from your agency ever! And I hope no one else does either. Living obituaries of decency all those drivers!

In the name of God can someone explain to me how difficult it is to maintain your lane, follow rules and accept the fact that you have chosen to live and work in a city that has infrastructural problems! If that is not acceptable to you, move out or get into the state cabinet or something and change the status quo. Don’t take it out on me or any of the others who are in as much a hurry to get home as you are. It is not like I love Bellandur Junction and want to construct a house in the middle of the square, get it? I am moving. In fact I have only been moving for the past one hour even if it is at a snail’s pace. With two wheels and nowhere else to move that is all I can do. Is it difficult for your neuron connections to process that?

Anyway, I am out of here…the soft target for all the honkers on the road. The hour looks safe enough and I am hoping to have a quieter ride home. I am not going to let the road and all the jokers out there ruin my nice day. Maybe I’ll laugh it off today. Maybe I’ll call them a jerk and leave it at that.

8 Thinkers Pondered:

Smita said...

Hope you had a better ride. You know am quite like you in this matter. In fact have even written about it. I hate those idiots the most who honk inside a underbridge. I mean WTH the sound echoes & there isn't enough space inside. But you know what i used to do with such big vehicles honker's? I used to let them go ahead & as soon as they move in front of me I used to honk at them. Trust me had managed to ruffle quite some feather's & nerves ;-)

Sowmya said...

:) This one made me laugh... A friend Mouli who drives a car had told me once..."If somebody behind me in a traffic jam honks I show them a placard that reads - if you honk once more, you are a disgrace to mankind"

Anupama said...

Hey Smita!

Sounds like it must have been good sadistic fun - honking back at the honkers...I should try that sometime :) ...thanks for the comment...

Hey Sowmya,

That's a nice idea except I can't put it up on my small little bike...and that somehow reminds me of that anecdote about a sign in a pub playing loud music - If it's too loud you're too old...thanks for the comment :)

Anonymous said...

you can consider bmtc buses.

Eveline said...

I used to take the koromangala - Johnson Market road when i was in college and taking that road gave me a headache, heightened my blood pressure and increased my ability to swear at the drop of a hat. I don't think I've ever reached home in less than 30 mins. You have to pass through the fat parts of the city and all this accounting for the sure to be gargantuan traffic jam around that time.
Only way out of it is getting a driver and carpooling with friends. Doesn't reduce the traffic but it gives you a kinda worry-free feeling you never thought you could experience.

Anupama said...

Hey Anonymous Commenter,

I could but that is too much independence to give away. Thanks for the comment..

Hey Eve!

So good to see a comment from you :) ...talk about traffic in Koramangala...I had to ply on that route for about 4 months last year and they are memories best forgotten...thanks for the comment :)

Satish said...

Many a times ignorance is bliss.... Breaking your head or working yourself up is not worth the time and effort... If the bliss is disturbed too much couple of expletives will be helpful.... It may just relieve all the tension(bundled up from office).

On a serious note.... Traffic in bangalore is choatic...Hope the road users have just a pinch of patience

jayant said...

Hey..Thanks to Smita,I stumbled upon your blog and...wait for it...

WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!

I had covered the same topic in my blog about two weeks ago so I can so understand what you mean.

Since you mentioned God,I would make an attempt of telling you how difficult it is to maintain one's lane.Going by Murphy's Law for Traffic, the lane you are NOT into seems to be moving faster, but it is only till the time you get into the new lane.Then you realize the previous one was actually better and the cycle continues!

Loved this post as well..
Cheeres!