Thursday, June 05, 2008

Dealing, Healing

Someone was hurtfully rude to me today morning. Problem is I wasn’t expecting it and it took me by surprise.

I’ll tell you how it felt…it was as if a sledgehammer that should go onto the anvil on a piece of hot iron in a smithy workshop had been picked up and slammed into my stomach; because the reaction was as unexpected as it was rude. I couldn’t feel the pit of my gut for quite a while after that. And it came close to ruining the rest of this brand new day that had been gifted to me.

I sat at the edge of my bed wondering what I had done wrong, what I had done to deserve that sort of treatment. And having found no answer, I was forced to gather myself and carry on…I had the whole day to go through.

So, forget about how I felt and all…what was I going to do about it? Here’s how I dealt with it…

  1. Drank umpteen cups of tea hoping that the kick would set in soon and I would become so caffeinated that I’d be able to overlook what happened in the morning.
  2. Listened to stupid happy as well as sad songs hoping that one of them would take me to another time and place and help me forget what happened in the morning.
  3. Said Thank You and I Appreciate to some people…this was my way of countering someone’s nastiness. Because someone almost ruined my day I was nice to people, whom I hadn’t told I appreciated being there, and I hope that I made their day a little better.

Point 3 actually helped! I hope it meant something to the recipients too :)

Being slightly more sensitive than is good for health (people who know me, I know I don’t look like it. But just because someone appears unfazed doesn’t mean they were not affected. I hurt sometimes, you know…), the feeling hasn’t completely gone away. But yes I can feel my stomach again…so I think I’ll be fine.

9 Thinkers Pondered:

yettofindaname said...

There was a forward doing the rounds a couple of days ago. One of the quotes went like this -
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
You never know when you might rub somebody the wrong way. Simply ignore maadi and say "God bless you!".
Nice blog :)

Trooper said...

I don't know whether this'll help, but here's a few songs that might cheer you up
Guns 'n' Roses - November Rain
Santana feat. Steven Tyler - Just feel better
The beatles - Let it be

Sometimes when something unexpected hits you, you have no idea how to react. We all like life to be nicely in order,so we know exactly what to do, and when to do it.. But i think when life goes off track, those are the times we actually learn to live! Take it in, get it out and move on!

Cheers!

http://www.troopersblog.blogspot.com

Anupama Kondayya said...

Yettofindanmae,

I loved the statement - you never know when you might rub somebody the wrong way! That and the quote really help put things in perspective. Thanks for the comment and the compliment about my blog, I'm feeling much better :) . Thanks for stopping by...

Hey Trooper,

I am going to make a playlist right now and out those songs on! Thank you so much for the recommendations. Just that act on your part of suggesting some songs that have the potential to cheer-up means a lot to me. And yes, I will keep that part about learning to live in mind...it is so true! Thanks for the songs, the comment and for stopping by :)

God Bless both of you...

Satish said...

one quote which helps me to deal with complex human emotions
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” - Mahatma Gandhi
We cannot control actions of others, however we can control how we react.It is hard not to feel hurt, but feeling hurt only ties us down

On the other hand, give the other person benefit of doubt. I'm not aware what conspired and the background..... but sometimes it helps

If nothing works, there is the blue sweater to put the smiles back and blog to chase the gloom away

Cheers!!!!!!

Satish said...

one quote which helps me to deal with complex human emotions
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” - Mahatma Gandhi
We cannot control actions of others, however we can control how we react.It is hard not to feel hurt, but feeling hurt only ties us down

On the other hand, give the other person benefit of doubt. I'm not aware what conspired and the background..... but sometimes it helps

If nothing works, there is the blue sweater to put the smiles back and blog to chase the gloom away

Cheers!!!!!!

Utsarg said...

Lord Buddha has said "Expectation is root cause of all sorrows in the world". Bhagvad Geeta says "Karm kar, fal ki apeksha mat kar".
If one is very idealistic and believes in goodness in every being on earth, these two quotes have power to shoo away all sorrows and low-points in life. But as I said, this is like being on the extreme of goodness.
I have always tried to follow this and have been able to get out of deepest shit launghing and feeling content. But yes, this is really hard to follow and at many moments, I have faltered and have gone through pain.

I once had a long chat on similar things with a friend who had just attended a course on exploration of life and such things. She had a wonderful view on this. She just said that believing that you have been a victim of wrong someone did to you and blaming him/her for it actually helps to ease the pain. We keep on having so many ups and downs in life and its really not worth spending effort and time in analysing why somebody did that bad thing to you and what should you do about it... Just say that you were victim of somebody's foolishness and callousness, forgive and forget the event and just move ahead. But before moving ahead make sure that you have taken the right lesson from the event.

k10 said...

Hmm..
One quote which gets me back on track, is well "unmentionable " here...ill mail it across.
A good smoke and a great coffee help me tide over things back to normal.

Anupama Kondayya said...

Hey Utsarg,

I completely agree with the taking the right lesson part. And really, there isn't much we can do but move on. What I found to be interesting was the fact that you said blaming the person helps...how many times have we buried such feelings because we felt that we shouldn't feel this way! I think if we are hurt and if someone has hurt us, it is best to accept it and not be too hard on ourselves. Thanks for the comment :)

Hey K10,

Coffee sure helps...agree with you there! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment :) . Will read through your blog soon...

lakshmi said...

This comment is perhaps a little late, but when I find myself in such situations, I feel better by reminding myself that life is too short to waste any part of it about worrying why someone said or did something to me, if I know I have been true to my conscience. Its usually true that dearer a person is, the hurt that person can cause will be deeper. If thats the case, I tell msyelf that there were numerous more times that person has been good to me than this one nasty time. If its not a dear person, then he/she is not anyway worth your time!
:)
If you want to make ur self feel better, read the GITA..:). You can interpret it as per your convenience..:)